In 2007 I made an account on Newgrounds. I was a big fan of FUclock and really wanted to review his work. I didn't know that this event would be a defining point in my life.
It's been 10 years since that day. I was 10 years old at the time. Now it is 10 years later. I've celebrated clockday 10 times, I've had 11 birthdays since. On the 28th was my 21st birthday. When I was 11 years old, newgrounds was the world to me. My friends were all I cared about. I hit the first peak of my life. Now I've hit 2 more and newgrounds is simply my home. I return here - it's mine by oath. I do my best to keep it running - even if that is just by donating $5 every month and maybe make a flash every clockday.
Life was simple back then, I was a child. I was meant to grow up one day. I swore that I'd never leave newgrounds "Till I die or it dies" and hoped one day I'd be big in the clock crew. That wasn't how life goes for people though, I needed to get a job one day.
In high school I didn't really think about what I wanted to do. I now knew I was crap at animation so I didn't want to go into that. I enjoyed programming and as a kid wanted to be a game developer so I chose game programming as a goal. I passed all my exams and went into university for it. I hit my 3rd peak as I enjoyed my time with my friends but this fun was inevitably going to end. I would end up working in a job somewhere.
Why was I doing this? I was just walking the path laid out for me. This was just what was expected of me throughout life. What did I need from this? Game programming is fun yes, but is that all I have to look forward to in life? Surely the freedom I have now is the best point in my life. It is for everybody. At the end of this it's just the daily grind with nothing to look forward to. It wasn't for the money either, I just needed that to survive. There's nothing that I really want - nothing buyable at least.
This is the first year of my life with meaning. I found a solution to it all - one that doesn't involve dieing trying to find a land that only arguably exists. My friends don't want the normal life either. We'll work our normal jobs for about 3 years - only untill we have enough to afford land. With that land we will live self sufficiently. We'll build small houses on it. We'll put up power generators. We'll grow our own food. We'll reduce our bills to the point where we don't need more than a small part time job to keep ourselves alive. This is how we'll maintain the freedom we have now.
In 3 years you can expect more from me. Expect me to make more flashes, expect games for once and maybe I'll even write those songs I've been meaning to. All my life I've wanted to be free and now I know how I'll do it. After 10 years on the internet of knowing who I was - I now know what I want to become.